We all have experienced stress, anxiety, depression, grief or relationship problems at some point in our lives, right? Many of us have friends or loved ones who are suffering right now and could benefit from therapy. Suggesting to a loved one or friend they need therapy can sound offensive and make them feel as if they are being criticized.

Do you know how to recommend therapy to your loved one? Here are 6 ways to recommend therapy to your loved one:

1. ​Say something soon! – The sooner you say something, you prevent a larger issue or a full-blown crisis from arising. Minimizing the issue or hoping the problem will go away on its own isn't likely or realistic.
   
   
2. Normalize therapy! – If you have benefited from therapy talk about it with them. If you haven’t gone to therapy yourself, express empathy by saying something like, “I see how stressed you are with everything going on right now and you deserve real support beyond our conversations. Have you thought about seeing a therapist for help?”
   
   
3. Don’t Diagnose! – Leave diagnosing to the experts. Instead, you can say something like, “I notice that you don't seem like yourself. I care about you and think a therapist can help you.”
   
   
4. Be Reassuring! – Therapy doesn't have to be long term for it to be very effective in resolving issues. Assure your loved one they can find a compassionate, supportive and objective therapist that will provide the insight and tools to empower them.
   
   
5. Be Resourceful! – Be prepared to share where they can go to find a psychiatrist, psychologist or therapist. If they are employed, ask them to contact HR to inquire about Employee Assistance Program (EAP) benefits. In addition, many schools and Universities offer free or low-cost services. There are also online therapy options such as Open Path for persons from low-income status. Go to openpathcollective.org/ to learn more.
   
   
6. Be Supportive! – Offer to pay or be there for moral support. If the situation is very serious, consider an intervention or hiring an interventionist. In case of an emergency, always dial 9-11 or take them to their local emergency room for an evaluation.

 
Don’t let your loved one or friend suffer in silence. Express to them that therapy is not replacing your relationship with them. If they decide to not go to therapy, it's their choice and you did your part. If the relationship is becoming harmful to you, reevaluate your boundaries with them. You might want to examine if the relationship is worth continuing. Remember, we all can benefit from therapy!

As a therapist, I am constantly finding ways to evolve not only professionally, but as a human being. My evolving process is holistic – physical, mental, emotional, social, and spiritual. Being mindful requires being present, living in the now and sitting with whatever emotion you’re experiencing. It can be based on something you perceive as negative or positive at that moment.

Not practicing mindfulness can push your mind to wander between the past and future instead of focusing on what is happening right in front of you; the present. This can trigger unproductive, negative thoughts and possibly negative behaviors.

For example, went on a job interview and left feeling like you aced it. Your mind begins to think about the future and all the good benefits the new job can bring. A couple of days goes by and you hear nothing from the hiring manager or HR. Your mind now goes to the past, replaying the interview and asking yourself “what did I do wrong?” because you really wanted “this” job, and your emotions are running high from not knowing if you got the job or not. Now, you start to retreat, ruminate over the interview, and isolate with your negative thinking without having all the facts. When you’re in a negative thinking pattern, it can be hard to be present in your life, flexible in your thinking or not controlled by your emotions.

When you find yourself in this or any related situation…

1. Find a space to sit and do a self-check. Identify what you are feeling mentally (angry, frustrated, irritated, etc.).
2. Do a body scan. Ask yourself what you feel inside and out.
3. Take deep breathes and sit with the emotions instead of fleeing or distracting yourself.
4. Don’t judge what is going on or what you’re feeling as right or wrong.
5. When you don’t want to sit with your painful feelings, it’s okay! At the least, recognize them and what they are/mean so that in the event it happens again, you’re better equipped at handling yourself inside out.

​These things are definitely easier said than done because the mind can wander! What you may find helpful is venting to a nonjudgmental friend &/or instantly write your thoughts down. Every day, 3 things you are grateful for. This can also help you stay present.

For every negative, find a positive. Focusing too much on the future causes worry and staying in the past creates guilt and/or regret. None of these emotions add to your well-being although pain is a part of life. However, mental, and emotional pain can be reshaped by practicing mindfulness.

No one can change what happened yesterday, and tomorrow is not promised. Constantly going between the past and future can be draining and daunting. You deserve peace within your body, mind, and spirit.

How mindful are you? How will you practice mindfulness?