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Criticism ...................................

2/22/2021

People who are critical of others point out others perceived flaws. Many of us have grown up with painful criticism. Painful criticism can be toxic to anyone’s well-being. Being criticized as an adult can trigger suppressed pain and as a result, one either withdraw themselves or lashes out on others. Either action is counterproductive to one’s well-being.

Sometimes, painful criticism can trigger shame causing one to revert back to the hurt child who could never do anything right. Shame can also be an extremely painful emotion. When shame is triggered, some people find ways to not feel such as cutting, overeating, or using illicit substances. Shame can feel very threatening as it dysregulates the nervous system. Practice mindfulness by noticing it, allowing it some space and realizing when it has arisen. Understand that you are not the shame.

You have no control over how others perceive you. You do have control over how you react and view yourself. Find your inner strength and accept your lovely, unique human flaws. Here are 9 key ways to building mental strength in the face of criticism:

Say “No” – No is a full sentence! Know when to say it and don’t allow yourself or others to make you feel shame or guilt about it.
People-Pleasing – Accept someone telling you “no” as it works both ways. Embrace the fact that social rejection is unavoidable. You don’t need other’s approval. Understand and accept your strengths, limitations, and perfect imperfections and mistakes.
Relationships – Cultivate healthy relationships with yourself first. This relationship speaks volumes and sets the tone for how others should treat you. Be in the business of reevaluating your relationships with yourself and others on a regular basis.
Be Kind – Try to be considerate and helpful without any obligations! As humans, we are all dealing with our own shit – feelings, perceptions and opinions. Other people’s judgments are not superior. They are simply expressing their own subjective standard as it relates to their experiences. You’d be foolish to argue with someone’s taste or preferences.
Acceptance – Differentiate what you can and cannot control so you can feel your best, discover new options, opportunities and happiness. Trust your own judgment and know what is best for you. Acknowledge and reward your successes despite anyone’s recognition.
Adaptability – Be open to adapting to change. Since change is inevitable, try to be reasonable in challenging or unforeseen situations.
Emotional Acumen – Recognize exactly what you feel, why and what it means to your existence. Express empathy and compassion for yourself first then others. Don’t allow a compliment or criticism to affect you.
Being Proactive – When there is a problem, weigh your options and make a practical decision taking in your emotions, thoughts and motives so you can make an informed decision.
Sense of Self - Know yourself and how you best deal with your emotions. Avoid taking your emotions out on people or allow people to take theirs out on you. Don’t take what people do, feel, think or say personal because you are wonderful regardless of their opinions.

People are going to have their own opinions no matter what. In the end, yours is the only one that matters!

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Therapy Helps ....................................

2/7/2021

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There are many things in life we try to control like what other people do, say and feel about us. Sometimes, we internalize these things.

There are also times where we can't control the things we can because we struggle when it appears as though everything is falling apart in the middle of a life-storm. We then find ourselves in a flight or flee response. But, even in difficult times, we can get through life-changing events.

As life happens, try to be honest for what’s true for you. Remind yourself, you have power no matter the circumstances that comes your way and you're not alone. With the help of a therapist, you can cultivate a meaningful, fulfilling and compassionate life for yourself.

Here are 12 ways therapy can be helpful in navigating life. Therapy can teach you how to:

Talk to yourself – therapy can provide tools on how to use positive self-talk.
React to others – therapy can help you align your emotions so they don't negatively impact your behaviors.
Structure your time – therapy can help you identify ways you may be spending useless energy and time on things that don't add to your overall, daily productivity and well-being.
Create your space – healthy boundaries in every area of your life are important to avoid emotional, spiritual, physical and mental fatigue.
Ask for help – this can be a struggle for everyone, yet therapy starts the process of learning how to ask for help from people in your life.
Say yes and no – therapy can help with not feeling guilty for saying “no” or “yes” when you absolutely need and have to.
Take care of you – therapy can provide tools on how to practice meaningful self-care with a lasting impact that can be used time and time again.
Be honest with yourself and others – it can be hard to face yourself and admit certain truths, but therapy provides a safe space for being honest and self-exploration that can be freeing for you and others in your life.
Channel your grief – a therapist can help guide you through the phases of grief in a healthy way.
Manage racing thoughts – therapy can provide a safe space to release those racing thoughts and process in a healing way.
Deal with regrets – therapy can show you how to be mindful, thankful and live in the present while accepting the past as it is – the past.
Have a healthy relationship with your body and food – therapy can help you identify loving ways to treat your body not based on food.

I encourage you to think of ways therapy can be helpful for you.

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