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Embrace You        ....................................

3/22/2021

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I might be aging myself here, but did you have a pen pal as a kid? I did! I remember how excited I was when my letter arrived in the mail. It was a wonderful experience to hold a letter that came from another state or country that someone else took the time and thought to write a letter back to me. I loved sitting down, writing and sharing something from my heart, funny or serious. The exchange was so fun as I was able to share my authentic self to someone else in a meaningful way without judgment. 

My first pen pal was assigned to me in the 5th grade. She was another 5th grader from Alabama. In the 6th grade, I was assigned my second pen pal from Germany. Both pen pals added so much to my learning because of their cultures as they were different from mines growing up in Illinois.

The simplicity of writing a letter to a pen pal afforded me the experience to be myself, dream and listen while understanding others just the same. That experience alone taught me that I can embrace myself although it can be hard due wanting to fit in or change based on so-called norms in our society and/or culture.

Meaningful connections with others have been lost due to our overuse of social media and texting. I love technology and its benefits, but nothing will ever replace the human connection needed within ourselves or from others.

Here are some ways to embrace yourself and connect with others now:

  1. Don't wait until you find someone to like or love you - start small by saying one kind thing a day to yourself
  2. Don't wait until you lose weight - pick a body part, appreciate it right now and do this for at least 1 week
  3. Share with others, no texting, how you really feel – call a loved one and tell them what you love about them and how they support you
  4. Give yourself a break – it's okay to rest when you feel exhausted; give yourself permission
  5. Avoid criticizing yourself – you're human and will make mistakes time to time, it's OK try not to take yourself so serious
  6. Tell yourself the truth – how do you want to be treated, what aren't willing to do, what are your needs right now?

When you embrace yourself, you are being kind to yourself in ways others couldn't do! You're not being judgmental or bashing yourself. When you embrace yourself, you can see clearer and valuable learning opportunities about yourself, what works and doesn't, while identifying a solution to your problems and taking great care of yourself. If you don't know who you are, now would be the perfect time to be curious! Embracing yourself can seem like a big, complicated task, but it can be something fun done this minute.

Start now!
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Self-Soothe           ..................................

3/8/2021

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Growing up, you may have discovered ways to make yourself feel better when you had been hurt or felt bad. Some examples of self-soothing include playing with your dog, favorite doll or toy truck.

As an adult, it's easy to forget how to self-soothe in a healthy way when feeling uncomfortable, upset, anxious or irritated. A lot of times, unhealthy self-soothing techniques are the quickest and easiest way to feel better, however it doesn't last long. Some examples of unhealthy self-soothing include:
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  1. Excessive use of alcohol or using illicit substances: This can lead to an addiction or death.

  2. Excessive eating: This can lead to weight gain and poor health.

  3. Self-Harm: This can including cutting, burning or hitting yourself and can leave permanent scars, possible infection, pain and embarrassment.

There are healthy ways you can self-soothe as an adult. Try any of these 10 self-soothing techniques to feel better about yourself or any situation.

  1. Relaxation exercises – download a relaxation app and listen to relaxing sounds from nature (waterfalls, bird calls, whales, etc.) or take a walk.

  2. Play – find time to play an old-school board game (Monopoly, Clue or Scrabble), charades, hangman, romp around in the grass with a dog or flag football with friends. You can also play tag, hide and seek or blow bubbles.

  3. Be present in the moment – this is known as mindfulness. Try to not focus on the future or the past in order to fully experience the present. For example, engage 3 of your senses by taking a long and close look at a flower, touch and smell it.

  4. Learn – are you interested in learning something new, but never explored it? Look for ways you can make this happen. Or, you may want to look at something in a new way such as reading a poem or scripture to find new meaning in it. Watch a TED talk about something you know nothing about.

  5. Finish the little things – accomplishing even the smallest thing usually helps you feel better. If you have been putting off easy things you have been meaning to do for a while (cleaning out a drawer, dusting a bookcase, sending someone a thank you note). Do it!

  6. Spiritual resources – prayer, meditation or reading affirmations, etc. Whatever feels right to you, try it and keep in mind, spiritual work does not necessarily occur within the bounds of an organized religion.

  7. Be creative – make a sculpture, paint or draw. It does not matter if you have never done any of these things. Shifting your focus on one of these tasks can make you feel better.

  8. Go to any kind of a museum – pick a piece to observe, stare at it and let it spark a story.

  9. Write – journal about 5 things that make you smile or write a 5-line poem about your favorite song, food or a funny memory. 
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  10. Try a new food – pick a fruit, veggie or dessert you never tried before and do this once a week.

Each day you can help yourself feel better by doing many good things that don't involve self-harm, overeating or excessive use of alcohol or illicit substances. Do something fun, creative, uplifting, interesting and exciting to self-soothe. 
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