Happiness takes work. It's an inside job that can be easier said than done. Some of the basic ingredients to being happy includes safety, satiation, perception and quietude. These are things you can control. Depending on external things to be happy can make it hard to sustain happiness.
Feeling unsafe can bring about fear. This fear creates a fight or flight response on top of tension within your body. These things can make it hard for you to experience happiness. Ask yourself, “How safe and secure do I feel in my everyday life?” As you think about your answer, consider what you can adjust to feel safer.
No one has everything they want, but ask yourself, “At this moment, in what ways are my life full?” Only you can answer this question. Acknowledge in this present moment, without pointing out what you don't have, everything you do have that really makes your life full.
Right now, take the time to reflect on the bigger picture, your life! Getting caught up in the minuscule details of things you can't control can derail you from enjoying your life's journey, the positive impact you are having on others and within your own life. One’s quality of life can be enhanced by having a positive attitude and sense of general well-being. Improving your mind and memory through mentally stimulating exercises can also help.
How often do you go into a quiet place and reflect? If you can't do this every day, try to do this at least once a week. Find a quiet place where you can get in touch with feeling safe, seeing how satiated you are and self-reflect for 20 mins. Take a break from your day of being busy and implement rest. Identify a space where you can hear yourself think and have no responsibilities so you can focus on you, your peace.
As you reflect on some of these questions, focus on the ones you struggled with or couldn't answer. These are the ones that need your attention the most. As you begin to work on these, you are one more step closer to being a happier person.
You just landed your dream job earning more money making it easier to save more money; home-run!
Your daughter was accepted to her #1 college choice on a full scholarship; home-run!
Your brother just had his first baby and you're super excited to be an aunt; home-run!
After flying through green pastures, celebrating these homeruns, you grab a seat and close your eyes to relish on the beauty of it all. As soon as you open your eyes, the fastest curve ball you've ever witnessed is coming towards you. When life gives you lemons, they say to make lemonade. What do you make when life throws you fast curve balls?
The money in your savings account has dramatically decreased to repair your flooded basement because home insurance doesn't cover it; curve ball!
Your daughter received another letter from her college stating they made a typo on the letter and she will not be attending that college; curve ball!
Your brother calls to say his wife miscarried...you hang up the phone with the curve ball stuck in your throat; curve ball!
The phone rings again...your grandmother died' curve ball!
Now, you sit! The curve balls are sitting heavy on your chest. You can't seem to calm yourself and the curve balls are in various parts of your body. You feel the pressure. Your head is pounding.
The sound of mail being placed into your mailbox snaps you out of your head and for that split second, you are now focused on the task of reading the mail in hopes of a distraction.
The first piece of mail is $300 fine notification by the city for having too many times for false alarms. The second piece of mail is a notice stating your mortgage has increased by $400 because your mortgage company failed to take out enough money to cover last year’s escrow. Now, your once cushy savings is gone.
The room begins to spin because all those curve balls have knocked you on your ass. And it’s only Tuesday! How are you going to make it through today? The rest of the week?
Eat comfort food…or not eat at all.
Self-medicating discomfort isn't the way to handle discomfort. Allow yourself to sit with your uncomfortable feelings because you are human. Staying present is the only way to find a solution to current problems and fully go with the ebb of life’s curve balls as a means to adapt!
Life has a way of always testing you, for the good or bad! The reframe or new outlook is what will help you bounce back. A few reframing thoughts or new outlook could be:
More curve balls are sure to come. Remember, for every curve ball there's a homerun waiting to be hit out the park!