Criticism ...................................

People who are critical of others point out others perceived flaws. Many of us have grown up with painful criticism. Painful criticism can be toxic to anyone’s well-being. Being criticized as an adult can trigger suppressed pain and as a result, one either withdraw themselves or lashes out on others. Either action is counterproductive to one’s well-being.

Sometimes, painful criticism can trigger shame causing one to revert back to the hurt child who could never do anything right. Shame can also be an extremely painful emotion. When shame is triggered, some people find ways to not feel such as cutting, overeating, or using illicit substances. Shame can feel very threatening as it dysregulates the nervous system. Practice mindfulness by noticing it, allowing it some space and realizing when it has arisen. Understand that you are not the shame.

You have no control over how others perceive you. You do have control over how you react and view yourself. Find your inner strength and accept your lovely, unique human flaws. Here are 9 key ways to building mental strength in the face of criticism:

1. Say “No” – No is a full sentence! Know when to say it and don’t allow yourself or others to make you feel shame or guilt about it.
   
   
2. People-Pleasing – Accept someone telling you “no” as it works both ways. Embrace the fact that social rejection is unavoidable. You don’t need other’s approval. Understand and accept your strengths, limitations, and perfect imperfections and mistakes.
   
   
3. Relationships – Cultivate healthy relationships with yourself first. This relationship speaks volumes and sets the tone for how others should treat you. Be in the business of reevaluating your relationships with yourself and others on a regular basis.
   
   
4. Be Kind – Try to be considerate and helpful without any obligations! As humans, we are all dealing with our own shit – feelings, perceptions and opinions. Other people’s judgments are not superior. They are simply expressing their own subjective standard as it relates to their experiences. You’d be foolish to argue with someone’s taste or preferences.
   
   
5. Acceptance – Differentiate what you can and cannot control so you can feel your best, discover new options, opportunities and happiness. Trust your own judgment and know what is best for you. Acknowledge and reward your successes despite anyone’s recognition.
   
   
6. Adaptability – Be open to adapting to change. Since change is inevitable, try to be reasonable in challenging or unforeseen situations.
   
   
7. Emotional Acumen – Recognize exactly what you feel, why and what it means to your existence. Express empathy and compassion for yourself first then others. Don’t allow a compliment or criticism to affect you.
   
   
8. Being Proactive – When there is a problem, weigh your options and make a practical decision taking in your emotions, thoughts and motives so you can make an informed decision. 
   
   
9. Sense of Self - Know yourself and how you best deal with your emotions. Avoid taking your emotions out on people or allow people to take theirs out on you. Don’t take what people do, feel, think or say personal because you are wonderful regardless of their opinions.

​People are going to have their own opinions no matter what. ​In the end, yours is the only one that matters!